Oh hello. Welcome back readers! Sorry I’ve been absent, but Sticky went AWOL and it’s hard to chase him down and post at the same time. But I’m making headway. Look, there he is now!
Stickman puts on his robe and wizard hat.
Oh, that’s not good.
Stickman casts Feral Blood Sucking Mount.
Oh God, that sounds terrify…oh nevermind. He must have gone back to town to buy new spells when I wasn’t looking. Good thing I bribed that spell merchant. Now to show off those skills I learned from the local Gym Leader.
Lady of Odd casts Lighting Bolt. It’s super effective!
Ha HA! Take that. Kids? What kids…YOU SEE NOTHING.
Well that gets Sticky back under control. If you see a Wild Stickman, please report him to me at LadyOfOdd@gmail.com
Until next week, readers!
You know how they say animals can sense things? Like a dog bolting right before an earthquake, or cats hiding before the thunderstorm rolls through? There must be a sixth sense embedded within the animal kingdom that loathes anthropomorphic human figures with a fiery passion. How else to explain why Stickmen are subjected to horrors that no regular person could imagine?
Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific
Lessons we learned here. Do no show an elephant your nuts. Do not lay down in front of a two ton creature with poor eyesight. If you are determined to do both of these things, do not cover your genitals in peanut butter.
Submitted by: Fuji-Q Amusement Park in Japan via Oddly Specific
What’s the matter Sticky? Couldn’t find a kangaroo? Bear wrestling should not be attempted by anyone other than trained professionals. Though that bears (har har) the question; how does one become proficient at fighting bears without fighting bears?
Submitted by: My own via Oddly Specific
This is a perfect example of what I was saying. Only an animal with a malicious lust for Stickman pain could find a way to breach a plexiglass enclosure to nom on the hated enemy. We need a volunteer to see if animals emit a frequency that only Sticky can hear. One that forces him into dangerous situations against his will.
Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific
At least the cows are honest about their intent. They don’t try to sugar coat it with implications that Sticky just had no sense of self-preservation. Integrity: a bovine’s middle name.
-Lady of Odd
Oh dear. It looks like Mr. and Mrs. Stickman have been fighting again. This is what happens when you marry someone just to please you parents, kids. Looks like Mrs. Stickman has found Sticky’s stash of porn. Run kids! Don’t get between a man and the dump truck with 300 gigs of thirty second snippets on it!
Doesn’t look like that porn is coming back. Sticky seems to be handling it well. Or…not. No no, Stickman. You can’t push your wife off a cliff. Look at all those witnesses. Someone surely would report you.
There’s a better plan. Hit her in the head with a shovel and bury her somewhere no one would EVER look. The backyard. Wait, maybe that wasn’t the best idea either.
Too late to turn back now Sticky. You’ve done the deed and now you have to cover your tracks. Quick, put the body in a trash can (haHA! revenge) and get her down to the sub-basement. Ooo, karma. Kicked in pretty instantly didn’t it? Reader, you saw nothing. NOTHING. *sidles off*
-Lady of Odd
Welcome back, dear readers! Today we journey deep into the perilous heart of the Stickman’s world. On an average day, the typical Stickman may encounter slippery floors, closed bathrooms and hotels on fire but these are mundane adventures. Sometimes though, a Stickman may encounter something even HE isn’t expecting.
Oh no! Use the hand brake Grandpa Sticky! Honestly, who puts alligators at the bottom of the handicap accessible ramp?
Alcohol may be the only way to enjoy the state fair, but the carnies can be cruel pranksters. Hiding in the sink? Oh you wily bastard.
But for all the crazy shenanigans they’re forced to put up with, at least some places try to keep the freakiest stuff away from Sticky. That means you, Frankenstein’s monster. That’s right, get back in the woodshed where you belong.
Oh no. It looks like spending several days in close quarters with his extended family has driven Sticky to drinking again. For a while, alcohol turns Stickman into a lover.
Eventually, between the beer and the salt water, Sticky has to go. But Alcohol makes toilets into a strange and devious creature. Let’s give him a moment to figure it out.
Unable to alleviate his bladder, Sticky becomes belligerent. Finding an outlet for his frustration and rage wherever he can. He’ll show that toilet who’s boss.
Not to worry. This must happen a lot because the rest of the Stickman family has a plan. He’s strapped in nice and tight. Now to just mop up the puddle, wipe away Sticky’s tears and wait for sobriety.
Post By: Lady Of Odd
Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific
Ah the holidays! That time of year when we travel hundreds of miles to see family only to remember why we moved away in the first place. For Stickman however, travel to his grandparents can be dangerous.
He’d travel by car, but the gas pump contraption is beyond his cognitive skills.
He’d travel by boat, but the choppy seas going up and down, up and down, up and down….bleargh I made myself nauseous. Where was I? Oh yes, vomiting is strictly prohibited, so boats are out.
Guess he’ll just have to hoof it. Over the river and through the woods and past the treacherous snow covered peaks. And all for a poorly knitted sweater that smells like moth balls. Godspeed Sticky!
Posted By: Lady Of Odd
This week’s installment of Stickman in Peril features poor Stickman’s decline into the seedy underbelly of crime.
It all started innocently enough, with Sticky falling in with a rough group of kids. They dared him to join in their devil may care antics such as playing chicken with cars…while on bicycles. It would seem no one was old enough to buy a motorcycle yet.
Petty crime led to misdemeanors which led to drugs and drugs led to…pole dancing on public trains for spare change? Oh Stickman, you don’t have to degrade yourself like that.
Of course, crime doesn’t pay. Even sexy crime like stripping in a public forum. Don’t worry, I’m sure the police brutality will come up in his trial. Seriously cops? Did you HAVE to slam the door on him?
Post By: Lady of Odd
Submitted by: Iles de la Madeleine, Quebec, Canada via Oddly Specific
If a picture is worth a thousand words, I have to imagine that for Stickman, at least 998 of those words must be “HELP”. Poor Stickman gets the shaft. Whenever an Oddly Specific sign needs a scapegoat to get its point across, he’s their man. It has to be the most thankless job in the world…next to these guys.
Stickman has been ripped in half by an extra from 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea
He’s been callously left on an unstable hot tin roof
Subjected to extreme chiropractic measures
And he’s even been mocked whilst trying to find a moment to weep for his lot in life.
But no more! We here at Oddly Specific salute you, brave artistic representation of the human form. If you see Stickman in a compromising position, snap a photo and send it in. Let him know you care.
-Lady of Odd
Citizens Against Obfuscation